Halfway house

I know how much my friends love people's pregnancy countdowns, so I thought I'd mention that it's 34 days until my due date. :) It seems that being pregnant is my biggest motivation in life to get things done. I was the same way with my first pregnancy- I had a long "to-do" list and had every weekend planned out for all the projects that needed to be accomplished before the baby arrived. There was no way Bennett could be born before I completed such vital tasks as organizing all the kitchen cabinets, getting the carpets cleaned, getting that last layer of mulch on my roses before winter, etc.

I have had the same motivation during this pregnancy- only with a lot less energy, ability, and free time with which to address it. Hmmmm...who knew having a 2-year-old could make such a difference. With my mom's and Ben's help, the past month or so has been a flurry of cleaning closets and drawers, hanging shelves, making trips to Goodwill, and generally trying to get the house in order and make room for a fourth member of our family. We have made good progress, but there's still plenty to do- baby clothes to be washed, baby items to be purchased, a "big girl" room to finish decorating, etc.

There are a few items on the "to-do" list this time, though, that were definitely not there last time, and those are the ones that are really stretching me to my limits. There were four things that I wanted to accomplish with Bennett before the end of the summer:

• Get her to give up her "nuks." I can't believe I'm admitting that my two-and-a-half year old still has half a dozen pacifiers that she likes to carry around with her and take into her bed. I am currently watching her play with them and give them turns going down her plastic slide. Her doctor said to get rid of them at 12 months- clearly, this is why. She totally doesn't need them. They have just become like her other playthings and she likes to have them around. There has always been an excuse for not just throwing them all away, of course. And now here we are, a month away from having a baby who might actually need pacifiers, and big sister is still attached to hers. True confession: she just told me that when she goes to school, she is going to take them with her for show & tell. Is it too soon to have a conversation about being "that kid"?

• Get her to eat a better variety of foods. Bennett basically eats- fruit bars, yogurt, crackers, graham crackers, Cheerios or Chex, applesauce, toast, the occasional waffle with honey, the occasional french fry, pizza, and chicken nuggets. Oh, and most anything that is junk food, like cookies, ice cream, or pop. But she won't even try other foods, even normal kid foods like hot dogs or mac & cheese. I have not wanted to make mealtimes into battles. Her doctor has assured me that she is getting what she needs, she'll eat when she's hungry, I don't need to force her to eat things, etc. However, at this point, I think even she is getting tired of eating the same old things. I know she would like so many more things if she would only try them. A lot of the time, she isn't really interested in food at all. So, I usually just go to the stand-bys so she'll at least have something in her stomach. 

• Get her potty-trained. I started working on this in March, as soon as I stopped spending the majority of my days puking. It's probably the most frustrating thing I've ever done with the exception of breastfeeding. Two steps forward, one step back. Weeks of dry undies, then an accident two minutes after she just went. I've come to understand this is the nature of potty-training. At this point, she is dry all the time with the exception of naps and night-time, and the occasional accident. But, she is still terrified to poop on the potty, to the point where she will hold it for several days, creating a whole new set of problems. At this point, I don't even try to get her to go on the potty anymore. I'm 35 weeks pregnant, and I can't physically hold her on there. I consider it a success if she goes at all, so pull-ups it is for now. 

• Get her sleeping in her big-girl bed. Definitely been putting this off until the last minute. Bennett has always been such a good sleeper and is completely comfortable in her crib. She goes to bed with no fussing, and she has never once tried to climb out. If possible, I would keep her in her crib until high-school graduation. However, we are going to need that crib soon so we decided to bite the bullet this weekend and make the move. I can already tell this is going to be about as fun as potty-training. It's taking about 2 hours to get her settled down and sleeping (complete with fits and screaming) and her new wake-up time seems to be 6:30, instead of 8:30 or 9:00. She is getting 3-4 hours less sleep at night, and of course, so are we. 

All this to say that I've been thinking a lot lately about the word "halfway." I really hate it. I'm a list-oriented person (even though my right-brainedness means that this is multiple lists in multiple locations, many of which I've forgotten about or lost). But, I still love that feeling of crossing something off my list. Of being "done" with that task. Of saying "I accomplished that" and not having to think about it anymore. I don't like "halfway."

The more time I spend as a parent, the more I am learning that there are a lot of times I'm going to have to live with "halfway." Right now, Bennett is halfway potty-trained. She has a halfway-decent diet. She is sleeping about half the night in her new bed. I should be happy for any progress we've made, but instead I'm frustrated that I can't cross these items off my list. It leaves me feeling incomplete. It makes me feel like I'm failing.

Somehow, I've got to learn how to live with "halfway"- because I have a feeling we are going to be living in a "halfway house" for many years to come. Learning to tie shoes, to read, to ride a bike- none of things will be accomplished in a day. And, come to think of it, there are a lot of things I'm only halfway there on- and I'm 31, not 2. I'm hoping that just recognizing this will be the first step in figuring out how to embrace it. Cause I love my kids (even if I've only met one in person so far) and want to enjoy them at every stage.

Time to go have another contraction now. I'll sign off with a picture of my girl in her big-girl bed for the first night- Nuks and all.

39 days and counting...

I thought I should update since it has been a month since I've blogged...

• As much as I hate to admit it, my life is pretty much consumed these days by preparing for the upcoming birth of our second child...39 days 'til my due date!
• This pregnancy has been rough! Physically, I am so ready for it to be over, but in all other aspects I hope I make it the entire 40 weeks. I don't want him/her to come out before s/he's ready, and I definitely need all the time I can get to get things done before then, too!
• I'm still convinced it's a girl! Bennett thinks so, too. 
• I stopped weighing myself like 6 weeks ago when I reached the same exact weight I was when I had Bennett. I figure no good can come of checking the scale at this point! I'll just dwell on it/obsess over it. Even at the doctor's office, I look the other way and don't ask! I plan to weigh myself right before going to the hospital- I figure I'll have other things to worry about then and surely I'll lose at least a few pounds before I come home. ;)
• I've been having contractions for the past 3 weeks- they are getting more painful, but not longer or closer together. At this point, I've just gotten used to them! They started so much earlier this time around.
• I've done three rounds of antibiotics for an infection that could cause premature labor- and now that I've made it to 34 weeks, my doctor said we are past that worry. I'm so happy! I hate taking antibiotics. 
• Sometimes when I walk, I feel like my legs are wheels that are not properly attached to a car and are about to fall off. 
• It is so hot outside.
• Sometimes I feel like I am sucking air in through a straw or trying to breathe with a 50-lb. weight on my chest. 
• It takes me a few seconds when I wake up each morning to remember my physical state. Am I really this big? Am I really this uncomfortable? Yes! But, I'm also extremely excited and very grateful, so that gets me through. 
• I've been flipping through some old baby magazines I had when Bennett was first born- not a great idea. I am now convinced that I've forgotten everything and will have no idea how to take care of a newborn. 
• I can see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as finishing all my 2011 work. As long as the baby doesn't come early, I should be able to get it all done and have four months off. I am so excited!
• I have been slacking on reading. Still slogging my way through The Beautiful and Damned. 
• I did try one new recipe recently- Shredded Tex-Mex Salad with Creamy Lime Dressing. You can find the recipe here. It was an awful lot of work for something that was not even a main dish. And, adding so much olive oil to a lime-flavored dressing made it taste pretty weird. However, the seasoned black beans tasted great (I used Penzey's Salsa Salad Seasoning since I didn't have any sazon seasoning), and we loved the cornbread croutons. I would definitely make them again and use them on another salad! 

ETA picture of the salad- at least it looked pretty!

Pinteresting

So, I'm definitely becoming obsessed with Pinterest. I'm a serial bookmarker, but when when my hard drive crashed in February, I lost everything, foolishly thinking all my Google Chrome bookmarks would be saved under my Google account. Wrong. I was so sad. Pinterest is the perfect way to organize my bookmarks and keep them online where, hopefully, I'll never lose them.

I've been going through some of my bookmarks and transferring them over to Pinterest, and I came across this delicious recipe I made in March and forgot to blog about. I made these cupcakes for my dad's 60th birthday since he is an Elvis lover. They were so good, especially the peanut butter frosting. I would call them more like muffins than cupcakes, and they're really rich so you can't eat a lot in one sitting, but they are certainly worth the effort.

Find the recipe here!

Food Obsession: Breakfast for Dinner

Why is breakfast for dinner so good?

I could probably have breakfast for dinner at least once a week. I think I love it so much because we rarely take the time to make breakfast for breakfast, except occasionally on Saturdays or when we have out-of-town company. Today, I had chocolate pudding for breakfast followed by handful of sour cream & onion chips. That sounds even grosser when I admit it out loud. Don't worry, Bennett eats healthier- she had a Kashi fruit bar and strawberry yogurt. She tried a sour cream & onion chip, said "I like different chips," then put it back in the bag.

Anyway, one of my favorite breakfast-for-dinner combos is egg casserole and fresh fruit salad. I know there are a million egg/breakfast casserole recipes out there, but I am biased toward my parents', and I really think it's one of the best. Here's the recipe:

Egg Casserole

12-15 slices bread, torn up (I like using white bread)

8 eggs, mixed together 

2 cups milk

3 generous "squirts" of yellow mustard

1 lb. sausage, browned and drained

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Mix all the ingredients together and spread in a greased 9 x 13 pan. If the mixture seems too dry, you can always add a little more milk. Add more shredded cheese to the top (if you want), and bake at 350 for an hour or so until it starts to turn brown. I think it turns out better if you make it a day ahead and let it "soak" in the fridge overnight. 

I think this casserole tastes SO good with a fresh fruit salad- pineapple, grapes, strawberries, bananas, and oranges or apples. Yum! I try to keep a fresh fruit salad going in my fridge all summer long. 

Another breakfast-for-dinner favorite of mine is chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs with ham- not like a slice of ham on the side, like thin deli ham mixed in with the eggs. So good! What do you like for breakfast-for-dinner?

Year One Wrap-Up

I suppose, since I've been 31 for nearly a month now, that it's time to look back and see how the first year of my 30s went. If I want to accomplish everything on my list, I have to mark off an average of three items per year. There were only two definites I accomplished this past year- starting a recycling program for our household and joining a church family. I suppose you could make that two-and-a-half if you count the five months I spent growing our second child during the year I was 30. I also made some progress on some ongoing list items, such as reading 120 books, trying 300 new recipes, completing 100 sewing projects, and reading through the Bible twice- but not as much progress as I wish I'd made.

List aside, the first year of my 30s was a pretty good year. I went through some difficult personal and family issues, but also had a lot of fun and really enjoyed life and watching my daughter grow. Some memorable things from this past year included:

• Getting my first e-reader- how did I ever live without it?
• Watching Bennett grow from a baby into a little girl
• Celebrating Ben's 30th birthday with a fun party and a fabulous trip to Cabo
• Praying my mother-in-law through a grueling stem cell transplant- and watching her triumph through it
• Changing everything I thought I knew about one of the closest people in my life
• A super fun cruise with my childhood best friend, Michelle
• Becoming involved in a church family that I absolutely love
• Getting in the best shape of my life (hmmm, seems like a distant memory now...)
• Celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday with a special luncheon for her and her friends
• Spending a week in Atlanta with my cousins- one of my favorite things to do
• Repainting and redecorating our kitchen
• Hosting the family for Thanksgiving
• Losing my grandpa
• Finding out we're expecting baby #2
• Surviving two months of hardcore morning sickness
• A trip to Siesta Key with some close girlfriends
• The daily realities of being a full-time mom while working while being pregnant while having a house to keep up...

There are certainly many days in this past year that I would never want to relive, but I am well aware of the grace that got me through them and I have no complaints about how the Lord has treated me and my family. We are very blessed. 

As I look forward to the next year, I am excited and apprehensive. I know that adding another baby to our family will create many adjustments and sleepless nights, but at the same time, I can't wait to meet him or her and for our family to be "complete." I am working hard to create some maternity leave for myself and to enjoy a few months off with my children. We have been at a crossroads in our family for a long time now, wondering what the next step is for our careers, housing, future schooling for our kids, etc., and I am hopeful that the Lord will show us some clear answers in this next year or so. Can't wait!